1. Oil executives defended their huge profits in front of the Senate today. They said that it was just a matter of supply and demand. We supply them with money and they demand more.
2. Scientists have developed a new nasal spray that increases our trust of strangers. In fact, people who used it continued to trust strangers with their money - even after they were betrayed! You know, I think the government’s been spraying it in voting booths for years. Now there’s something that won’t be abused for the wrong purposes, huh? “Here, try this new perfume. Nice, isn’t it? And would you like to buy some encyclopedias?” Or maybe, “Here, smell these two free tickets to @@@. Now, wouldn’t you rather get out of those stifling clothes?”
3. John McCain is going to meet with potential vice-presidential candidates today. Here’s a picture of him getting off a plane. [Show AP photo from NY Times.] He’s taking that defensive karate stance to fend off Mitt Romney.
4. They say Hillary Clinton is staying in the race because she wants to keep her reputation as a fighter. But you know, in the military, no one brags about friendly fire. “Yeah! Bulls-eye on my own troops! Whoo hoo!! Take that - people on my side!”
5. American Airlines is now going to charge extra for even one checked piece of luggage. There is no word yet about striped pieces of luggage, though.
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