1. Microsoft has introduced its first operating system where users touch the screen (not including Microsoft users who have been ‘touching’ screens with their fists).
2. The nation of Nepal voted to completely abolish its monarchy yesterday, which puts Nepal ahead of such backward nations as Great Britain, Sweden, and the Netherlands. Maybe one day the British will be free too.
3. Madonna’s recent adoption was finally approved by the government of Malawi. She said that the process of being hounded about the adoption was similar to giving birth. Which is why she was sedated for most of it.
4. Because of renovations, the leaning tower of Pisa is no longer the leaningest building in the world. That title now belongs to a church in Germany. First the Germans get the pope, then they get the worst building foundation title! If the Germans start running organized crime, that’s going to be the last straw!
5. Former White House press secretary Scott McClellan has attacked the Bush administration in his new memoir. Dana Perino, the current White House secretary, said that Bush is “aware of the book”. Aware? Like the way I’m aware of a Staples store being somewhere near my house? “What? Book? What?” “Never mind, Mr. President. Have another pork rind.” Karl Rove said that if McClellan felt that way, he should have spoken up while he was press secretary. Of course, if he had, Rove would have detonated the microchip implanted in all White House employee brains.
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