1. Recently a judge ruled that paper money discriminates against the blind. Yeah, well, tough. It discriminates against me too. Especially when I’m drunk.
2. George Takei, who played Mr. Sulu on Star Trek, is going to marry his long-time partner. Unfortunately, like most people who have contact with Star Trek characters, but aren’t famous enough for dialogue, his partner was killed as soon as he appeared in public.
3. Scientists have now developed a car that drives itself. I’ve been seeing those on the freeways for years, though, with people using cell phones and makeup. At least, I hope the cars were doing the driving.
4. Environmental groups say that video game makers aren’t doing enough to get harmful chemicals out of their consoles. But really, I think most video game players are looking forward to a future apocalyptic wasteland.
5. Barack Obama says that he is now within reach to winning the Democratic nomination. Yeah, the way a surfer is getting pulled unstoppably towards that wave, but his leg is getting chewed off by a shark.
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