1. Today Procter & Gamble announced a much cheaper version of Tide detergent called “Tide Basic”, because basically, it doesn’t get your clothes clean. I think the instructions will read: “For best results after washing with Tide Basic, wash again with regular Tide.” Maybe you’ll open a box of Tide Basic and inside will just be a hanger. “To wash, hang clothes behind you while applying deodorant.”
2. Wal-Mart is selling private versions of Girl Scout cookies, so finally people don’t have to buy them from scruffy children trying to raise money. I hear they’re also going to offer privately written thank-you “letters” from kids in Africa.
3. Steven Tyler, the lead singer of Aerosmith, fell off a stage during a concert, when his mic cord became entangled in his lips. Luckily, he’s eligible for Medicare now.
4. Rupert Murdoch says he will now charge for internet access to his news media. The price is expected to be around $9.99 a month plus one-hundredth of your soul.
5. The world’s largest concrete arch bridge will soon open next to Hoover Dam. It’s already been paid for by selling the rights to blow it up to Jerry Bruckheimer. Other funding came from having the final six-foot gap filled by David Blaine live on TV. Cars will just go over his back.
No comments:
Post a Comment