1. Some banks in Italy are taking Parmesan cheese as collateral for loans. However, bank robberies have become an increasing problem. Italian police just released a prison photo (above) of the leader of the most notorious gang of robbers. The picture was taken during an inter-species prison riot.
2. A new study shows that when people are very stressed, it becomes easier to form habits. Well, speaking for me, I definitely masturbate more when I’m stressed. Sometimes I’ll just whip it out right at work. And often, I get stressed about how much I masturbate, which just becomes a vicious cycle.
3. Researchers say wrinkle-faced bats have amazingly strong bites for their size. I can believe that -- a wrinkle-faced old bat bit me once, and that’s the last time I’m visiting a retirement home.
4. The Chicago Cubs have been sold to the founders of the online brokerage Ameritrade. So they already know something about trading. However, players are worried about the new owners’ plans to split some of them.
5. Scientists have recently found a newt that uses its ribs as a weapon. His name is Newt Johnson, he works at Chili’s, and you better leave him a tip for those baby backs.
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