1. The latest “Baseball Autograph Collector’s Handbook” lists the home address of every living major league player, umpire, manager, and coach. Buyers of the book are equally divided among autograph seekers, blackmailers, and women filing paternity suits. The author has over 100,000 baseball autographs, and also holds the world record for most restraining orders. In addition, he has his own zip code, but not because of the autograph book -- because he’s also the author of “The Complete Guide to Fried Oreos”.
2. A new internet treatment for insomnia is becoming popular. I assume it features a loud voice repeating: “Turn off your computer and go to bed!”
3. The NFL is now going to sell official toiletries, like soap and shampoo. So now you too can smell like an NFL player! Mmmm...
4. Miley Cyrus did a pole dance at the Teen Choice Awards, because that was apparently the choice of male teens.
5. Riders on a roller coaster in California ended up stuck due to a malfunction. The ride was supposed to take 70 seconds, but ended up taking five hours. Sounds like signing up for internet with Time Warner.
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