1. A new study says 70% of American kids don’t get enough Vitamin D, which bodies make from sunlight. To fix the problem, scientists are trying to add sunlight to Facebook and Xboxes.
2. Judges are considering releasing O.J. Simpson, so he can work on proving that he didn’t get a fair trial. Unfortunately, O.J. says this might take even longer than finding the real killers.
3. RadioShack announced plans to change its name to just “The Shack”. Because shacks are so often associated with high-tech. This is like Pizza Hut recently changing its name to “The Hut”. I hear that soon the Catholic Church is going to change its name to “The Lick”. Maybe RadioShack and Pizza Hut want to empathize with customers going through foreclosure. “Our customers tend to live in shacks and huts these days.”
4. Actor Ryan O’Neal has admitted not recognizing his daughter Tatum at Farrah Fawcett’s funeral, in addition to accidentally hitting on her. No wonder his daughter uses crack. Actually, maybe her being a crackhead is what turned him on.
5. A recent college graduate in New York is suing her college because she hasn’t been able to find a job. And apparently, she’s also suing Disney because she still hasn’t been rescued by a charming prince. I hear one of her complaints is that companies are turning her down for being too whiny.
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