1. To save money, the city of Chicago is stopping all non-essential services. So, unfortunately, people will no longer get car service when delivering bribes.
2. Brett Favre has come out of retirement (yet again) to play for the Minnesota Vikings. He said he had to be “careful not to commit for the wrong reasons”. For example, being a man-child who can’t cope without constant media attention -- that’s okay.
3. A new study (true) says that a zombie attack would lead to the end of civilization unless dealt with quickly. Squads were quickly dispatched to healthcare town halls across the country. One of the professors behind the study has a question mark legally attached to his last name (again, true), because after hearing about his research, people always ask him incredulously: “Professor Robert Smith?”
4. A doctor in Florida was fired for saying bad things about doughnuts. Good to know what’s important in Florida. In related news, a Florida fire chief was fired for banning small random fires in his station house.
5. South Korea is set to launch its first-ever rocket into orbit. North Korean news agencies quickly called the announcement a bizarre delusion.
No comments:
Post a Comment