8/24

1. President Obama plans to read six books on his current vacation. Hearing this, former President Bush said, “I thought he was on vacation.”

2. Alec Baldwin said he might run against Joe Lieberman for the Senate, to which Lieberman responded, “Make my day.” It was the most inappropriate use of a Clint Eastwood line since the official slogan of Christian Governors of America: “If she looks back, she’s interested.”

3. A new recipe for crystal meth can be done in a soda bottle, but unfortunately, it sometimes causes the soda bottle to explode. Especially since the release of new ‘Meth-tos’ breath mints. Some people use the new recipe to make crystal meth while driving. Which is still safer than texting.

4. Some scientists say the collapse of honey bee colonies across the country is because bees aren’t making enough protein. That’s because flowers and nectar are nothing but carbs. They need to get on the Atkins diet.

5. A new study says the average American eats 22 teaspoons of sugar a day. Mostly to help with all the pills we take now.