1. Scientists have been tracking how thousands of people move through society by noting where they make cell phone calls. The results seem to show most people spend 90% of their time sitting next to me.
2. Governor Schwarzenegger has declared that the state of California is officially in a drought. So he’s asked all the pregnant women to leave, because they retain too much water.
3. Ed McMahon is now facing foreclosure on his Beverly Hills home. It looks like he could do with a visit from Ed McMahon. They’re taking the “clearinghouse” part of Publisher’s Clearinghouse a little too seriously. [sing like the Publisher’s Clearinghouse jingle] “The house where nightmares come true.”
4. So people are saying about Hillary Clinton, “What now?” Well, I don’t know, how about, oh, being SENATOR OF NEW YORK! New Yorkers might be happy with that.
5. Starbucks is finally going to offer free internet, which is helpful, because most people who pay for coffee at Starbucks every day usually can’t afford internet at home.
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