1. Summer scarves are becoming popular with women, because with more of them wearing flip-flops, they aren’t meeting their general quota of insanely uncomfortable clothing.
2. President Bush wants to end a ban on offshore oil-drilling. He has to think about where his retirement checks are going to come from, because I don’t think he’s going to be getting many speaking gigs.
3. In South Africa, local Chinese are trying to get the government to officially classify them as ‘black’, because under current laws, they’re considered ‘white’. I don’t know, how about classifying them as ‘Chinese’?
4. A man in Indiana robbed a kid’s lemonade stand, but one of the 12-year-old girls running the stand chased him to his home and called the police. The man couldn‘t move very fast, because 90% of the money was in quarters. The lemonade stand turned out to be the local Obama fund-raising headquarters. The robber was just a McCain fan trying to even the field.
5. A Swiss TV station is in hot water, because they played an old national anthem associated with the Nazis during a German soccer match. The mistake is understandable, though. Can we hear the old anthem? [Play the opening theme music to “Sex and the City”.] In his free time, Hitler was all about labels and love.
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