1. In Massachusetts, a group of teenage girls apparently entered some sort of pact to have babies together. No, not that way. Fathers were involved. The girls all said: “We’ll just have staff on the set take care of our babies while we go to school, the way Jamie Lynn Spears does.”
2. Scientists now say that the Phoenix lander on Mars has definitely found evidence of ice. They say this, because they found pictures of white stuff under the soil. Pictures of white stuff. Now, couldn’t they have put something on the lander to figure out if something was water? Like some sort of eight-grade chemistry set? Maybe a Britta filter?
3. Do you know how hot it was yesterday? (“How hot was it?”) It was so hot that just for the air conditioning, I actually sat through the new M. Night Shyamalan movie.
4. Governor Schwarzenegger said that people in California have to try to help senior citizens stay cool in the heat. This let to a tragedy, though, when a 90-year-old man was stoned with Popsicles.
5. Congress passed a new law today legalizing the warrantless wiretapping that the Bush administration was doing illegally before. Now, was that so hard, Mr. President?
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