1. Actress Tatum O’Neal says that the death of her dog led her to take drugs. Really? I don’t remember that when my dog died. “Well, son, this is part of life. Now let’s go smoke some crack. It’ll make you feel better. Then it will screw you up for the rest of your life. Which is how I ended up killing the dog. It‘s the great circle of life. Checkers will decompose, and the rich soil he makes will flow into the ocean. Some will drift down to Colombia, where it will fertilize coca fields that lead people to accidentally kill their pets. It‘s sort of like a druggier Lion King.”
2. Hillary Clinton says she might be open to being Barack Obama’s vice-presidential candidate. This reminds me of a movie scene…
3. Brigitte Bardot was convicted of inciting racial hatred for writing a letter critical of the way Muslims treat animals during some of their ceremonies. This is also what prompted her letter to the mayor of New York for the treatment of tourists watching the ball drop in Times Square. Trapped in an enclosed space for 24 hours with no access to food? No wonder they’re so happy when the ball finally drops. “Yay! We can go home now!”
4. A British man won a lawsuit after his travel agent arranged a trip and the place ended up being full of Germans. The agent said that the man should have known that might happen with a trip to Berlin.
5. A local government in India plans to build a liberty statue to rival New York’s Statue of Liberty. Then they’re going to give it to Australia. Then, a hundred years from now, they’re going to be enemies with Australia and wonder why they ever gave the statue.
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