1. The Prime Minister of Britain, Gordon Brown, has been criticized for receiving the Olympic torch at his home, though he emphasized that he didn’t hold it. Yeah, that’s the argument my girlfriend used when I caught her with her ex.
2. A new study shows that people’s faces can show their sexual preferences. For example, this kind of face implies that a woman likes to be on top. (Show drawn picture of a woman’s face that resembles Hillary Clinton.) And this face is the type that likes being whipped. (Show a face that resembles O’Brien.)
3. The International Monetary Fund predicts that the entire world is going to enter a recession, mainly because of the problems in the U.S. housing market. Great, even more reasons for the world to hate us.
4. In Venezuela, “The Simpsons” has been pulled from morning TV, because it’s considered a corrupting influence on children. Instead, this is true, the TV station is showing episodes of “Baywatch”. Which seems odd, until you realize that traditional Venezuelan culture urges all young girls to get breast implants.
5. Scientists digging at Stonehenge say that they’ve made a breakthrough. Apparently it’s actual name is ‘Rockhenge’.
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