1. President Bush’s daughter Jenna says that no pictures of her wedding dress will be released beforehand. There will be no leaks. This isn’t some flimsy deal like the Bush White House - this is a mother-in-law and her daughter’s wedding! That is serious business. She said that she wanted something organic and low-key. Not the food, mind you. The Bushes aren’t really into organic food. An MSNBC article wrote about the resume of the groom, then wrote, and I quote: “Jenna Bush, 26, is a 2004 graduate of the University of Texas, where she was twice charged with misdemeanors for alcohol-related offenses.” Wonderful.
2. President Bush welcomed the Pope at the White House today. Bush said: “Holy Father, you find in America people whose hearts are open to your message of hope.” Yes, hopeful because the election is less than seven months away!
3. President Bush keeps putting out plans to stop global warming now that his presidency is winding down. Pretty soon, we’re going to see him up in Alaska, going around saving individual baby fur seals. (act out) “See this one! I saved it! That’s one success for my presidency!”
4. Did you see this woman who spilled all these secrets about the husband she’s divorcing on YouTube? I hear her advisor was Heather Mills. Can we see a picture of her? Is this really the image you want?
5. A new study shows that people who take extra vitamin A, E, and beta-carotene might have a higher risk of dying. Surprisingly, this view was contradicted by vitamin pill makers.
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