1. A senior aide to Barack Obama has resigned after calling Hillary Clinton a monster. The comment makes more sense though, when you find out that the Obama aide is five years old and afraid of robots.
2. Clinton and Obama were campaigning heavily in Wyoming for that state’s caucuses on Saturday. All five of Wyoming’s Democrats are expected to vote.
3. At a summit of Latin American leaders, Hugo Chavez reportedly said: “People should go cool off a bit.” You know you’re being hotheaded when Hugo Chavez says you should cool off. That’s like Amy Winehouse saying you’re hitting the crack pipe a little too hard.
4. The highest court in Italy said that it is not illegal for women to lie to police about adultery. Apparently, this Italian woman lent her cell phone to her lover, who then used it to call her husband and insult him. So can she be charged with stupidity? “Oh look, it’s a call from my wife.” And then some man answers and says, “Hey, I’m screwing your wife.” How can you lie about that?
5. Former British prime minister Tony Blair is going to teach a class at Yale University. Man, how many jobs has this guy had since leaving office? I’d never hire him. Next week, he’ll be running a strip club in Nigeria.
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