1. In a surprise announcement - very very surprising - Pamela Anderson will be getting divorced again. She’s really trying to be this generation’s Elizabeth Taylor, isn‘t she? The official reason for the divorce that she gave was “fraud”. Is that referring to her breasts? Or her career? Or maybe he’s not all natural where it counts either.
2. Preparations for the NATO summit in Romania are in trouble, because there aren’t enough bathrooms at the site, one of the former dictator’s palaces. This is the dark side of his 1975 ban on dietary fiber. The dispute emerged after information from a meeting was “leaked”. Some say that temporary toilets will upset the aesthetic appeal of the building. You mean, more than urine stains on the walls?
3. Dick Cheney met the king of Saudi Arabia to talk about the oil market, and then as an afterthought, the nuclear threat of Iran. Shouldn’t Iran be first on the agenda? Are you ever going to have a conversation with your neighbor like: “Hey, Bill, gas prices are really getting crazy, huh?” “Oh yeah, I can’t believe it.” “Man, me neither. Say, do you think we should do something about that guy over there with the flamethrower?”
4. Condoleezza Rice has apologized for unauthorized people looking into passport information of the current presidential candidates. Said Rice: “We’re not used to a president actually traveling before becoming president.”
5. A woman recently died after a stingray actually leapt out of the water and hit her. You know, I think these stingrays are getting a little cocky after the Crocodile Hunter.
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