1. More than 11,000 pages of Hillary Clinton’s schedules as First Lady have now been released. Here’s a sample from February 16th, 1995: 9AM -- Meet with insipid wives of other national leaders. Grit teeth and pretend that being First Lady is the best job in the world. 10AM -- Sit in Oval Office and daydream. 10:30AM -- Have brain microchips recharged and oil changed. 11AM -- Meet spunky young lawyer from Chicago named Barack Obama. Encourage him to follow his dreams.
2. Methane gas has been found on a planet outside the solar system for the first time, meaning that fart jokes may be universal.
3. Mexican drug gangs are using James Bond-like SUVS that have smoke screens and can spray spikes on the road. So how did police capture one of these high-tech vehicles? It was abandoned after being rammed into a truck. You know the inventor was so sad. “You rammed a truck with it?! You could do that with any car!” This is how parents feel on Christmas when their kid plays with the box.
4. A new study shows that patients having heart surgery often get blood that has sat in refrigerators for two weeks or more. Man, I won’t even let my milk sit in the fridge that long.
5. The Middle East’s only women-only hotel has opened in Saudi Arabia. It will cater to all ten Saudi businesswomen.
No comments:
Post a Comment