1. President Bush has vetoed a bill that would have banned the form of torture known as ‘waterboarding’. Maybe the reason he doesn’t mind it so much is that it sounds like something fun. “What did you do this weekend?” “Oh, went to the beach, did a little waterboarding.” Maybe they just need to redefine torture as an extreme sport. That guy isn’t just getting hung by his arms for hours -- he’s doing ‘extreme yoga’. That prisoner isn’t sleep deprived -- he’s ’Ultra-Awake’!
2. Israel has approved more home-building by Jewish settlers in the West Bank. Unfortunately, the loans are all going to be sub-prime.
3. In a new study, people who didn’t drink began having one drink per day, and their risk of heart disease began to drop. But doctors warned that people who don’t drink shouldn’t start drinking. Then why did they even do the study?
4. Senator Barack Obama has won the Democratic caucuses in Wyoming, largely on his promise that he would use his ears to provide the state with wind power.
5. Palestinians are rushing to see a lamb born with a birthmark that seems to spell the Arabic word for God. Unfortunately, the crowds stopped coming when they realized it was actually “God” spelled backward. He was just trying to tell them that it wasn’t a lamb - it was a dog.
No comments:
Post a Comment