1. Officials in the Philippines are warning that taking part in crucifixions may be hazardous to your health. Oh really? Yeah, I seem to recall hearing that it was pretty bad for at least one guy about two thousand years ago. When he heard the warning, Eliot Spitzer took down the cross he had put up in front of the New York Post.
2. A new study shows that happy married people have lower blood pressure than unhappy married people. Well, of course, after so much blood has come out of the stab wounds.
3. Mike Huckabee has said that people should be understanding about the inflammatory comments made by Barack Obama’s pastor, Reverend Wright. Yeah, Huckabee should know something about saying crazy things in the name of religion, considering he preaches the universe was created six thousand years ago.
4. Two American citizens have been arrested in Russia for spying. Some of the evidence that Russian officials say that have is business cards from the CIA. Man, I think the CIA guys were just looking for work. Things haven’t been going so well there recently.
5. When a school official in California was told that the state’s new standards of improvement meant it would take 500 years for the state to meet graduation requirements, the official said: “California is patient.” Yes, they are like a patient - very sick.
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