1. A 750-year-old German church is being moved in order to mine coal beneath it. The coal apparently developed from all the bullshit filtering down from the pulpit.
2. China will launch a probe to orbit the moon and take photographs. Apparently, that’s how far they might have to go to hold Olympic events that are pollution-free.
3. A new study says that without sleep, “the brain reverts back to more primitive pattern of activity.” Is that why we drool? Or why when I don’t get enough sleep, I sometimes eat an intern?
4. A chemical in broccoli may prevent sun-related skin cancer when applied to the skin. “I don’t like broccoli, mom!” “Don’t worry, I’m just going to rub it on your skin.”
5. The rates of obesity in the rest of the world, except for East and South Asia, are now catching up to the United States. So you know what that means -- we have to eat more! We have to stay number one! More Baconators! Have you heard that slogan over at Wendy’s? “You get what you deserve at Wendy’s.” Yes, you certainly do.
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