1. People who lead a good clean life without any sins are less likely to develop Alzheimer’s, but why would they want to remember a life like that? They’re also apparently more likely to die from boredom.
2. Two men who made millions sending out spam e-mails will now go to prison for five years, where they’re going to learn the dark side of cheap Viagra.
3. A farm in England spent nine years figuring out how to miniaturize pigs, which have become popular pets. Nine years to basically develop… dogs. Don’t we already have those?
4. A new study says not making beds can make you healthier. This is the biggest news for teenagers since last week’s announcement that house-cleaning causes asthma. To further test their research, the scientists want to put mite pockets in the beds of average people. But I don’t think average people would choose to sleep with mite pockets. I prefer my wife.
5. A six-year-old in New York got a $300 graffiti fine for drawing on a sidewalk with chalk. The NYPD is now targeting “graffiti” on refrigerators across the country.
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