10/22

1. New York City has released 700,000 ladybugs to eat aphids, other parasites, and everything else in their path! Run! Run! Haven’t they learned? This is like last year, when they released thousands of presidential candidates to tire out all the crazies in the parks, and now look. Did you see the 5,000th Republican debate last night? There are more people on stage than in the audience.

2. In South Korea, an ultra-modern house in the shape of a toilet has been built. They’re having problems, though, because the blue paint in one of the upper bedrooms keeps leaking into the rest of the house.

3. The fast food chain Wendy’s dropped its “Biggie” name last year, because for some reason, people were associating five hundred gallons of soda with being overweight.

4. The Pope has said that religion should not become a “vehicle for hatred”. Well then you’d better take those gun turrets off the Popemobile. Put some suede upholstery in the back and a little Barry White on the stereo. Make the Popemobile a “vehicle of love”.

5. JK Rowling has admitted that Dumbledore, the wizard from the Harry Potter books, is gay. He fell in love with a dark and tortured figure from his past, who lived in a pineapple under the sea. Yes, he was in love with SpongeBob SquarePants.