1. Police say that Delta Airline baggage handlers have been caught smuggling heroin and cocaine. Police became suspicious when several baggage handlers were filmed treating suitcases carefully and respectfully.
2. A new study says that swearing at work can cut stress. and am I fucking glad to hear it.
3. The pilot of an unmanned plane that crashed in Arizona apparently turned off the engine and didn’t notice. That also happened to me once after a Grateful Dead concert. “Dude, the car’s not moving.” “I think you turned off the engine.”
4. Upon hearing that the Dalai Lama would receive the Congressional Medal of Honor, the Communist Party in Tibet said “if the Dalai Lama can receive such an award, there must be no justice or good people in the world.” They then clarified that this was not a statement about the world, but a change in policy. “There must be no justice or good people in the world! We will eliminate all of them!”
5. An art museum in Russia is planning a statue dedicated to ex-president Boris Yeltsin, It is being called the “biomorphic black monster”, which coincidentally, is also the nickname for Yeltsin’s hair.
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