1. A new study says daily sex increases sperm count. Does masturbation count? Maybe that’s why my lovers’ heads keep exploding off their bodies!
2. Some scientists say the part of garlic that causes bad breath also helps keep blood flowing smoothly. Maybe because the blood just wants to get away from the smell. It also keeps vampires away, which really keeps blood circulating.
3. Vladimir Putin is going to visit Iran despite a reported assassination plot against him there. As soon as he arrived in Iran, Putin turned into Mecha-Putin. And wrestled a bear.
4. A new study suggested microwaving sponges to kill bacteria, but oddly, many people report that dry sponges catch fire in microwaves. How about just getting a new sponge?
5. Some scientists say laptop computers might damage male fertility, because the heat warms the testicles too much. A similar study found that hot baths did the same thing. And what really harms fertility is working on laptops while sitting in hot baths, because then you’re dead.
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