1. A woman in South Korea has finally passed her written driving test – on the 950th try (true). She now has to pass the road test, but unfortunately whenever she has time, all the instructors have been coincidentally busy.
2. Sesame Street is celebrating its 40th anniversary. In the first episode, Big Bird decides to move to “a new habitat” (true), but then decides that Sesame Street is his habitat. I hate to break it to him, but New York City does not have any indigenous giant yellow birds. He is an invasive species, like pythons, tapas, and hipsters.
3. Spain is resisting ransom demands by Somali pirates. They’re getting a lot of support from England and France, which is historically interesting, because Spain honed its pirate negotiation skills against the English and French.
4. Scientists have created the first map of the human body’s bacteria. Around 100 trillion microbes live in or on our bodies, unless you’re Pamela Anderson, in which case the number is much higher. The types of bacteria found in different areas of the body vary greatly from person to person. For example, bacteria normally found around the groin were discovered in large quantities around my spleen. Although, that would explain why my splenectomy surgeon was willing to operate for free.
5. Unemployment has risen above 10%, the highest since 1983. In 1983, this coincided with the end of punk rock. If another musical genre has to die this time, God, let it be smooth jazz. But I doubt it, because those fans are the types who still have jobs, requiring them to bathe their fully automated brains in Kenny G for at least an hour a day.
No comments:
Post a Comment