1. Scientists have invented a phaser like the ones in Star Trek, but it can only stun small worms, which are ironically one of the few creatures that most Trekkies could defend themselves against without a phaser.
2. Afghan President Hamad Karzai wants Afghan soldiers to be in charge of the country within five years, which means he and the Taliban finally agree on something.
3. Brad Pitt turned down $5 million for an appearance in Abu Dhabi so he could go trick-or-treating with his kids. Because in Bel Air, his kids will pull in way more than that by trick or treating.
4. A new study says a medium popcorn and soda at most movie theaters is more unhealthy than three McDonald’s Quarter Pounders plus 12 pats of butter. Theaters said most Americans only eat movie popcorn as an occasional treat. Then the next day, they have their occasional treat of pumpkin pie, then their occasional treat of …
5. A third of the French troops in Afghanistan are in the Foreign Legion. So even when the French finally go to Afghanistan, the French don’t go to Afghanistan.
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