1. Churches in Italy have built automatic holy water dispensers for people who are afraid of catching swine flu from communal holy water. Unfortunately, anyone who uses the automatic dispensers gets struck by lightning for lack of faith.
2. At an art auction last night, Andy Warhol’s “200 One Dollar Bills” sold for $43.8 million. However, it wasn’t the record for a Warhol piece -- that was $54 million in 2007 for a work called “54 Million One Dollar Bills”.
3. A new study warns women to not get surgery for “perfect vaginas”, because the doctor just cuts a hole in the woman’s pants so that men can get to her vagina. For most men, that’s the perfect vagina. Some women get the surgery because they say it’s uncomfortable to have genitals that “stick out”. Well, speaking for men, I think you’ll get used to it.
4. Lou Dobbs, the fiery anti-immigration TV host, has suddenly decided to leave CNN. If he migrated to Fox, which has way too many commentators already, thereby depleting the right-wing nutjob audience pool for everyone -- that would be so ironic.
5. The Catholic Church says it will stop providing services for the government of Washington DC if the city decides to enforce anti-discrimination laws against gays. Good thing they don’t enforce the law separating church and state.
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