11/24

1. The oldest sheep in the world has died in Australia, and Australian men were in mourning over the loss of their favorite GGGGGGGGGILF.

2. A prostitute who claims to have slept with Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi says politically motivated thieves ransack her home. She says they “take away everything, from panties to dresses, from stockings to bras…” Actually, I think the term would be “stalkers”. And I should know.

3. Italy is also in an uproar over a government minister who suggested Italians shouldn’t spend so long at lunch. Italian nutritionists said this might cause “a blood sugar crisis in the afternoon, which would make it quite difficult to work.” Yes, that’s why everyone in the States drops like flies at around 2PM. But I suppose it takes a lot of calories to not collect garbage and find excuses for not being able to do what customers ask.

4. Today Show weatherman Al Roker has written a mystery novel, and his co-star Matt Lauer asked him: “How did you find the time?!” Well, as the cover indicates, like most celebrity “authors”, it was easy to find the time because he didn’t actually write the book. Sometimes I add salt to my food at a restaurant, but that doesn’t make me the chef.

5. The economic recovery has gotten off to a slower start than analysts originally thought. Largely because analysts have jobs.