1. A bottle of beer that survived the Hindenburg crash will go on auction, because a firefighter saved six bottles from the wreckage. Now, I’m not saying that firefighter was an alcoholic, but he did see one of the most horrible crashes of the 20th century and thought: “Ooo, free beer.”
2. Several of Bernie Madoff’s personal items will go on auction. For example, his solid-silver soul remover. There’s also (true) a New York Mets jacket with Madoff’s name on the back. Whoever buys it might be the first person to get hit by a baseball from behind while facing the field. Maybe he can wear it while driving with his license plate “MANSON”.
3. Former Miss California Carrie Prejean has admitted that she made an erotic video for a former boyfriend, but insists that she did not have sex on the tape. With the tape, perhaps, but not on it.
4. Tomorrow, for the first time, the leaders of France and Germany will together mark the end of World War I. That’s nice, considering they fought the war in Belgium. Maybe they could bring the Belgian leader along. “Hey, sorry about destroying your country.”
5. North Korean and South Korean ships fired at each other after a North Korean ship entered South Korean waters to investigate strange “unidentified objects” in the water, which were later determined to be food. None of the sailors had ever seen it in non-cabbage or rice form.
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