1. The White House has released its visitor list, and this year, there were eight visits by Michael Moore, but none of them by the movie director Michael Moore. Sounds like a certain president is acting a little passive-aggressive.
2. Police arrested a man who had been stalking Ryan Seacrest, which amazingly means that some people exist who don’t get enough of him already.
3. In Afghanistan, after long and grueling pressure from American officials to get Hamid Karzai to allow a run-off election with his rival Abdullah Abdullah, Abdullah has decided to boycott the election. Which means it’s good that Karzai won, because at least we won’t have to deal with a complete moron. Abdullah says that he needs more time to prepare -- maybe to fit another Abdullah into his name.
4. In Florida, a man brought an alligator to his daughter’s show-and-tell at school and it escaped. Luckily, it happened before another father brought in his giant vats of anthrax. Who brings an alligator to his daughter’s show-and-tell? And this is true -- they can‘t find it now. This is kind of like when you can’t find that last Easter egg in the house. “It’ll let us know where it is eventually.” “Yeah, didn’t there used to be more kids in this class?”
5. Hugh Jackman says that he doesn’t want to host the Oscars again, because being asked to host is sort of a backhanded compliment. “We don’t think you’ll be winning one of these.”
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