1. The founder of BET, Sheila Johnson, was attacked for mocking the stutter of a candidate for governor of Virginia. However, it was later learned that she was merely stuttering because of a horrible flashback to a typical night of programming on BET.
2. McDonald’s restaurants in Britain are serving Happy Meals that say there are nine planets, even though the International Astronomical Union says there are only eight. McDonald’s later clarified that the ninth massive planetary body it was referring to was Bill Johnson, it’s 2009 Customer of the Year.
3. An annual report by the United Nations found Norway to be the best country in the world to live. Unless you’re a whale.
4. The new website of French First Lady Carla Bruni crashed on its first day from too many users. Apparently, the users mistakenly went to the website while searching for her nude photos.
5. The man accused of secretly filming ESPN reporter Erin Andrews has been released on a bond, which was immediately purchased, chopped up, and sold to investors by Wall Street banks.
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