10/19

1. According to the local sheriff, the Balloon Boy family was putting on a hoax. But I think the sheriff is part of the hoax and this whole thing is a reality TV series. That “sheriff” is obviously sitcom veteran Howard Hesseman:


























2. The latest catalog for the department store Neiman Marcus is offering a plane with an optional parachute. Optional? For the pilot or the passenger? That sounds like a car with optional brakes. Or cable news with an optional off switch.

3. The toy company Hasbro had much higher profits this quarter, thanks to movies such as “Transformers” and “G.I. Joe”. Their rival Mattel lost sales, but is optimistic about next year’s horror movie based on the Magic 8 Ball. “Aaaahhh!! I can’t read it! The blue stuff is too bubbly!”

4. One of Madonna’s neighbors has sued her, saying that the dancing and music from her rehearsals is shaking the walls. But that’s just Madonna’s way of singing lullabies. When you’re Madonna’s kid, rock-a-bye-baby just ain’t going to cut it.

5. Astronomers have announced the discovery of 32 more planets. Their technique is to look for wobbling stars. Most of the new planets are found during the annual Golden Globe award ceremony in Hollywood.