1. French taxpayers spent over $400,000 on a shower for president Nicolas Sarkozy – which he never even used. Jesus, how much of a hint do you need to give a guy to freshen up a little? This explains why the White House officially classifies visits by Sarkozy as “chemical attacks”.
2. Sarah Palin received at least $1.25 million for her autobiography “Going Rogue”. However, most of that went towards finding someone to write it.
3. A Chinese company is thinking about buying Volvo. Their new slogan: “The world’s safest car just got a little more dangerous.” This is like Scientology buying Skeptic Magazine.
4. Andre Agassi has admitted that he used crystal meth over a decade ago. Some analysts think this will “severely tarnish” his reputation in ’09. By which I mean 1909. When the meth came up on a drug test, Agassi blamed his assistant, since his name was (true): Slim.
5. Hulk Hogan has decided to return to pro wrestling at the age of 56. However, in this case, the “pro” stands for “prostate”.
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