BEST OF THE WEEK

In France, a team of prisoners will be allowed to compete in the huge Tour de France bicycle race. French prison officials say they hope the project will teach the inmates how to use teamwork. Um, isn’t teamwork the way that prisoners escape?

An auction is coming up for Elvis’s old prescription pill bottles. The largest expected bidders? Plastic recycling companies. There’s going to be enough there to keep them in business for years.

Wal-Mart plans to add 22,000 jobs this year. Unfortunately, they’re all in China.

Two Americans who spied for Cuba say they did it for political reasons instead of money. Apparently, they’re members of the CLF -- the Cigar Liberation Front. It’s a small group, but very obnoxious and smelly.

A nine-year-old star of the movie “Slumdog Millionaire” is going to publish a memoir. It’s called “How I started being exploited by my parents, moved on to being exploited by a movie company, and finally graduated to being exploited by a book publisher.”

General Motors apparently tried to sell its Hummer brand to a Chinese company, but the Chinese government says that Hummers use too much gas. Wow, that’s how you know a vehicle is bad for the environment -- when the Chinese say that it causes too much pollution.

In Sweden, the Pirate Party has won a seat in the European government. It’s the first time Swedish pirates have done that since the Vikings. And they celebrated arrr night long.

In California, students are going to get internet textbooks instead of physical ones. Man, you thought kids were distracted by windows in classrooms -- now outside the windows put people having sex. And yes, I saw the whole windows / Windows pun, but it was too easy. Only the best for my readers!

An American court has decided that a two-hundred-year-old Spanish shipwreck belongs to Spain instead of a treasure-hunting company. Are they sure they want to set that precedent? I hear the next lawsuit is from Native Americans about some island called Manhattan.