6/13

1. North Korea says it’s going to enrich uranium for nuclear weapons, marking the first thing in North Korea to ever be enriched besides its leaders.

2. The theme park company Six Flags is filing for bankruptcy. The news was especially bad for those people currently on the first hill of Nitro.

3. Yesterday, a high school baseball umpire in Iowa ejected the entire crowd from the game. Like most people ejected from baseball games, the crowd kicked dirt on him. It took an hour to dig him out.

4. Microsoft is going to give away free anti-virus software, to try and compete with anti-virus companies. Man, that’s like Starbucks selling sleeping pills.

5. The presidential election in Iran is producing riots, fires, and violent battles with police. In response, this is true, the Iranian interior minister warned that demonstrations need official permission. Yeah, they’re not upset with the fires, riots, and battles with police [pictured below in Iranian government-approved form]. But you need to have official permission! You can’t just go doing that stuff willy-nilly!