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1. A new report says that reducing healthcare spending from 6% to 4.5% per year would have enormous benefits to the economy, mainly by getting rid of a lot of deadbeat seniors.

2. North Korea has chosen its next leader after Kim Jong Il. The latest reports indicate that it will be, hold on, it’s kind of hard to spell... Joey Rizzo… from Brooklyn. Apparently Mr. Rizzo dropped his business card in one of those glass bowls at a Korean restaurant. He didn’t even remember doing it until he got the news this morning. Rizzo already has a head start on not caring what the U.S. government says, since he has three unpaid parking tickets. Also like Kim Jong Il, Rizzo enjoys throwing trash in other peoples’ yards, and he’s already got the sunglasses and hairstyle down. Now, Kim Jong Il is known as Dear Leader, while his father is known as Great Leader. Rizzo has asked to be called Three Leader Engine.

3. Steven Spielberg says that until now, video games haven't made us cry. Speak for yourself. When I died at the end of Halo 3 after 20 straight hours of playing, I wept.

4. Ford says its sales are up 20% from last month, mainly because all those “Buy American” groups don’t have a lot of options anymore. “It’s either a Ford or a go-kart.”

5. Two dinosaur skulls were sold at an auction in New York yesterday. One was apparently bought by Jake Gallagher of Eugene, Oregon, who says if all else fails, he might move into the skull.