1. Senator John Ensign of Nevada has admitted to having an affair. But it’s not really so surprising that Senator Ensign had an affair, considering his campaign slogan was “Living Ensign” (pronounced “Living En Sin”).
2. Rupert Murdoch, the owner of the website MySpace, has come even closer to making MySpace’s name a reality, by laying off 400 workers. Soon, it will be just him, and the quest will be complete.
3. French president Nicolas Sarkozy was booed at the funeral of the leader of the nation of Gabon, Omar Bongo, after he tried to play a farewell song on the Bongo. It apparently seemed funny at the time.
4. Some of the country’s biggest banks say that the recession might be over by the end of summer. Yeah, because they’ve been right so many times before. “We will inflate this economy with as much fake wealth as it takes!”
5. Do you know that you can now get a virtual colonoscopy, instead of having an actual camera inserted up your ass? The odd part is that the doctor still has to wear latex gloves.
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