1. Two Americans who spied for Cuba say they did it for political reasons instead of money. Apparently, they’re members of the CLF -- the Cigar Liberation Front. It’s a small group, but very obnoxious and smelly.
2. A rancher in South Dakota has won a $232 million lottery jackpot, making him 5% of South Dakota’s entire income.
3. A nine-year-old star of the movie “Slumdog Millionaire” is going to publish a memoir. It’s called “How I started being exploited by my parents, moved on to being exploited by a movie company, and finally graduated to being exploited by a book publisher.”
4. I love Italy. Photos have been published showing several naked women running around a party at the Italian prime minister‘s house. But that’s not the scandal! The scandal is that he used public funds for the party. If an Italian policeman screwed his horse, Italians would just be upset that it was a publicly owned horse.
5. To stop cheating on college entrance exams, the Chinese government is going to use armed police. You don’t want to know the penalty for not using a No. 2 pencil.
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