Monday, June 29, 2009

6/29

1. Thousands of post offices across the country might be closed after this summer. Yes, because the lines at post offices have become dangerously short! Something must be done to make them longer.

2. The mayor of Los Angeles says he wants to turn the city into the world’s “green manufacturing center”. Local environmentalists were thrilled until they learned the mayor wanted to turn the city into the world’s center for counterfeiting dollars.

3. In California, General Motors will pull out of a factory that it runs with Toyota. Though actually, it’s not going to ‘pull out’, so much as be ‘towed out’.

4. At Bernie Madoff’s sentencing today, one witness said he hoped Madoff’s prison cell would be his coffin. That would be a big coffin. Even in death, he’d get a penthouse.

5. A minor league baseball game in California had 51 runs between the two teams. Something tells me the pitchers aren’t exactly major league prospects. If they want to be rewarded for failure, they should pitch investments on Wall Street.

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