1. For the first time, a satellite from India is orbiting the moon. Because that’s what’s been holding them back all these years! It’s not rampant illiteracy, corrupt police, and environmental devastation. No, they don’t know enough about the moon! Actually, if you’ve ever been to Bombay, you might think the moon is a nicer place to live, since even without oxygen, the air is more breathable.
2. Now that they have so much more power, Democrats in the Senate are trying to officially punish Senator Joe Lieberman for not following lockstep with the Democratic Party line. Ah, so good to see the Democrats learning from Karl Rove. So now Lieberman is thinking of joining the Republicans. Way to go, Harry Reid!
3. Anonymous Republican aides have leaked some very damaging information about Sarah Palin, and in response, Palin called them jerks. Anonymous leaks? Bitter infighting? What are the Republicans becoming - Democrats?
4. The government now says that attacks on the websites of John McCain and Barack Obama came from China. The website responded to what looked like normal e-mails, but which were actually contaminated with lead.
5. A prominent judge has warned that young people today might not be able to serve on juries, because they’re too used to reading online instead of listening for long stretches. That’s right! These kids need to be watching more TV! Enough of all this reading!
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