1. Starbucks reported that its profits are way down this year, because with the current economy, no one needs caffeine to stay awake.
2. Barack Obama took his first tour of the White House today. He said that one major change he plans is to make a children’s playroom out of Dick Cheney’s dungeon.
3. “Dancing With the Stars” is now the most popular TV program in the world. It narrowly beat out the program that has been the highest rated in the world for nearly 40 years: “Older Man in Suit Droning on About Something”. Every single country in the world has a local format of that show.
4. Breast feeding apparently helps your lungs get stronger. “Hey baby, I’m not a player. I just have asthma.”
5. Scientists have discovered that sponges, the animals in the ocean, have a very efficient fiber optic cable system. Well, that puts them one step above Time Warner Cable.
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