1. Scientists have now been able to selectively wipe out unpleasant memories in mice. The scientists say that they were able to do it without damaging the mice’s brains. Yeah, except for WIPING OUT THEIR MEMORIES! I think I would classify that under “damage”. No, actually, I think I would classify that somewhere between “Robocop” and an Orwellian freaking nightmare.
2. Russian president Dmitry Medvedev says he hopes Barack Obama will repair ties with his country. Yes, because why wouldn’t a left-leaning interracial president feel warm towards a fascist-leaning race-baiting proto-dictatorship?
3. The Croatian government has banned Christmas celebrations, and Bill O’Reilly’s crack team of commandos in the War on Christmas immediately redeployed from just outside the New York Times.
4. The world’s wealthiest nations had an enormous summit in which they pledged to “restore growth”. And in similar news, McDonald’s pledged to “sell hamburgers”.
5. Mexico City is going to offer free Viagra to elderly men, because if there’s anything Mexico City needs, its more people. So if you thought cheap black market Viagra was big now.
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