1. President Bush is trying to make it easier for mining companies to dig on land with endangered species. For example, mining companies won’t have to ask permission before digging under the home of a Republican politician.
2. The CEOs of the Big Three auto companies went to Washington today to ask for a bailout, and they flew in private jets. Even they aren’t using their cars. Why do they expect us to buy them?
3. Joe the Plumber is going to write a book about his ideas. Or, well, I suppose it’s more of a pamphlet or business card. And the publisher says the book will be available on December 1st. That’s only 11 days away! Apparently he’s changing his name to Joe the Typist. Does he have any time for plumbing anymore? Maybe he can call it “I’ll Be at Your House Between Two and Four, Because I’m Having an Autograph Party”. The book will be co-written by Thomas Tabback, who also wrote a novel called “Things Forgotten”, which is about forgotten things like this. [Show quote of Wurzelbacher saying that he would never “cash in” with a book deal.]
4. Janet Napolitano, the governor of Arizona, is probably going to be in charge of Homeland Security under Barack Obama. Napolitano. Do we really want someone with a built-in Napoleon Complex?
5. Have you heard about this Czech model who doesn’t have a belly button? You know who else doesn’t have a belly button? Barack Obama – because he descended from Heaven.
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