1. The guy at the White House who decided to fly an airliner around New York with a fighter jet has resigned. He was disappointed, because it was right before his giant wave simulator off the coast of Indonesia. You see, the rule is that you don’t re-enact disasters until the technology is outdated and the only people who want to do it are geeks, like with Civil War re-enactments or Renaissance Fairs. If you have a bunch of guys in Confederate uniforms charging Washington DC these days, it’s not a big deal.
2. Actress Mia Farrow has now ended her hunger strike in support of Darfur. I know, you were all very worried. The reaction from Darfur was: “You mean, you’re going hungry on purpose!? So the people trying to kill us are crazy AND the people trying to help us are crazy? This is not good.”
3. On Saturday, mailmen across the country picked up food donations for the hungry in addition to mail. Now, if you left potato chips, would that count as “junk mail”?
4. This week, the Pope warned against the misuse of religion for political ends. Yes, that’s very meaningful, coming from Europe’s only surviving THEOCRACY. You are the political leader of a country based entirely on religion! That’s like Fox warning other networks about making too many reality shows.
5. Amy Winehouse had to stop a concert yesterday due to “technical” difficulties. Yes, because she is “technically” a drug addict.
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