1. In France, the Church of Scientology is on trial for defrauding a woman out of her money. But I don’t think she should get her cash back for renting “Jerry Maguire”.
2. A court in Greece released 17 British men who were arrested for dressing like nuns. These days, you’d think churches would be happy that anybody likes to dress like nuns.
3. A small explosion took place at a Starbucks in Manhattan this morning. They finally reached the physical limit for new marketing strategies. When they tried to add a new one about squirrels dancing in the coffee, the store just physically couldn’t take it anymore.
4. Microsoft is thinking of changing the name of its new search engine to “Bing”, because of problems with its original name: “Who Cares?” I think “Bing” is the sound it makes when it tries to work.
5. North Korea detonated another nuclear bomb yesterday, showing that its incredibly poor and evil government can split the atom, even if they can’t split pea soup.
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