Friday, May 29, 2009

5/29

1. A new study says you can tell people’s personalities from the way they hold a drink, which helps to figure out if they’re approachable. For example, this is a wallflower [show silhouette]. And this would be a more aggressive personality [show silhouette of a person holding the bottle over their head by the neck, as if ready to hit someone with it]. And this is a person who is extremely easy to approach, but you might not want to [show silhouette of homeless guy with a drink in a brown paper bag]. And this person means you’re at a party at my house [show silhouette of a person sticking a bottle up his ass].

2. Some headlines are saying that a corpse found in a basement in Germany "may be Luxemburg". The country has been missing since last November. Police are currently questioning Germany, which is still on probation after kidnapping much larger countries about 60 years ago. It’s the most famous national kidnapping since the 1994 kidnapping of France. France was later discovered to not be kidnapped after all -- people had just stopped caring about it.

3. Phil Spector will have to serve 19 years in prison before coming up for parole. However, his hair got life.

4. President Obama has formed a cyberteam to protect the country against groups who disable our computers and make normal life impossible. The team’s first action is going to be to shut down Microsoft.

5. Did you hear about this baby in Illinois who was given a gun permit? The baby was apparently trying to defend himself from relentless stalkers who keep hiding and then emerging from their hands all day.

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