1. So DNA testing is finding more and more people who got switched at birth. But it doesn’t just happen at birth. I got switched at 25. I went to the wrong house at Thanksgiving. At first, I was like: “You people are not my parents!” And they said: “Por qué lo dices?” Eventually, I decided that I must just be paranoid. So I became a Rodriguez, learned Spanish, went to parades for La Raza, and the whole time, my real parents had taken in this 25-year-old Guatemalan. I didn’t find out until about a year ago, when we got our DNA tested.
2. Do you know there are now full frontal topless photos of Miss California online? I just lost about half of my online audience...
3. Some guy put a fake quote on Wikipedia for a French composer who had just died, and major newspapers used the quote in their obituaries. He fooled tons of major newspapers! Here’s the quote: “Doodz! Eminem rulz!!” Spelled with z’s, by the way. To be fair, though, the French use a lot more z’s.
4. A new study says that hyenas only use giggles in times of conflict. Well, that’s when I laugh too. “Hey man, don’t hit me.”
5. Did you hear about this mailman who stole stamps and sold them to pay off his mortgage? Why can’t he do that the old-fashioned mailman way? Just go into work with a gun, surrender to police, then get money from your TV and book deals.
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