1. President Obama has chosen the governor of Utah to be ambassador to China, because the governor has the best understanding of what it’s like to run a repressive cultish government.
2. Did you hear about these prison guards in Florida who shocked kids with stun guns on Take Your Kid to Work Day? Yeah, this is going to make kids want to join the work force. Still, it’s better than temping.
3. Now the federal government is giving bailout money to life insurance companies. Let the irony landslide begin. Life insurers getting life insurance payments. But doesn’t this mean that they’re dead?
4. So the Congress party is ahead in the elections in India. That’s good, because Congress isn’t doing so well here. Maybe Nancy Pelosi can get a job there.
5. The Venezuelan government has now seized an American pasta factory. Yes, because for far too long, spaghetti has been a meal that only the wealthy can eat. I hear next he’s going to socialize a generic corn flakes factory.
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