1. Christian Bale has now apologized for his crazy on-set rant a few months ago. Funny how apologies like this only happen after they hit the press. He claimed that he had mixed up his own personality with his character. Because if he had been completely in his own personality, he wouldn’t have yelled at the guy -- he would have beaten him up.
2. Well, after Israel’s attacks on the Gaza Strip, the democratically elected government of Gaza, Hamas, has been enjoying unprecedented international support. So how have they decided to use their newfound goodwill? By seizing emergency food from the United Nations. Good job! Now we know they’ve really become politicians.
3. Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin has now officially denied that he danced to ABBA songs at a private concert. Our presidents openly dance with pop stars. A Japanese prime minister sings Elvis during a press conference. But Putin “denies allegations that he danced to ABBA songs”. But is it really a surprise that someone who enjoys going topless so much [show famous picture of Putin fishing topless] is an ABBA fan? [innocent Russian voice] “I want to be a Dancing Queen too.”
4. A nine-year-old kid has now developed a program for fingerpainting on an iPhone. Actually, my kid created fingerpainting for my iPhone too -- and I could have murdered him.
5. In Australia, another airline pilot has made an emergency landing in water. Is this just the hot new way to land planes now? I’m going to pay more attention when they talk about my seat cushion being a flotation device.
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